Christians are straight up FREAKS
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
