theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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