I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
