You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
do herpes really smell.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
