dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
