you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
