his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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