She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
