all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
