so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
