Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
