Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
this just has baby written all over it
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
