Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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