My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
