You're so nebulous sometimes
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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