is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
