wat bout pragnant strippers??
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
