oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
