Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
