what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
