I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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