i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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