i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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