We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
this must be what syphilis tastes like
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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