What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My bed smells like the plague
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
