Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(250): View more from British Columbia

You don't have asthma, your pregnant

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(317): View more from Indiana

She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples

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(239): View more from Florida

they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application

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(970): View more from Colorado

Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?

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(330): View more from Ohio

I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.

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(970): View more from Colorado

You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it

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(912): View more from Georgia

I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...

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(631): View more from New York

All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY

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