I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Everything about him screamed your future.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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