is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
