Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
