Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
