so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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