He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
