I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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