No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
