what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
