I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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