Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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