We should be called the Road Head Warriors
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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