I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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