Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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