if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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