Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
