Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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