You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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