the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
