Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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