I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
