I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
