how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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