i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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