cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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