And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
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