why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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