I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
