so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
